My landline phone (the only one I have) does not tell me the number or the name of the person who is calling. I answer everything, including all calls trying to interest me in electric power rebates, medical devices, car warranties, medicare supplements, solicitations for charity, and so many more, sometimes up to nine or ten a day.
Since I don’t have many hobbies, I use these calls for amusement. For the ones that say they can provide me with some kind of rebate, I immediately tell them, “Look, I’ve already told you, send the money to Jim Smith, 123 Pine Road, etc. I’m tired of waiting. Where is my check?” They try to explain, and I keep repeating, “I want my money,” until they hang up in frustration.
I tell the medical insurance callers that I have all kinds of diseases. I tell the ones targeting old people that I’m 24. I tell the car warranty people that I only have a bicycle. I sometimes see how long I can keep the callers on the line before they hang up in disgust.
Occasionally I tell them they always have a choice; they don’t have to take a job scamming old people. I sometimes ask really stupid questions, or I tell them I am so lonely and ask personal questions, or I tell them I’m not wearing any clothes. It is much more fun than simply hanging up or getting angry.
My best experience was when I said, “You are a robot, right? You are really a robot.” The caller then said in a very robotic voice, spacing every word, “I am not a robot.” I told him he made my day.
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