To paraphrase the old saw about politics: “It’s the men, stupid.” A more accurate way to put it might be “It’s the stupid men.”
According to an article in the Saturday Times by Anna Louise Sussman, a journalist who writes about gender, dating, and reproduction, the decline in heterosexual marriages can largely be traced to a dearth of good male partners. This is the result of a crisis among men (and boys) known as “male drift.” Men don’t go to college as often as women, drop out of the work force, take more drugs, and fail to look after their health. We also don’t dress very well and aren’t particularly sensitive to the other people’s needs.
Sussman notes a high school English teacher assigned a creative writing topic in which boys and girls were asked to imagine a day from the perspective of the opposite sex. The girls gave this careful thought and wrote detailed essays. Some of the boys simply refused to carry out the assignment or did it resentfully. Guys have to be tough, unemotional, distant. Who would want to marry a person like that?
There may be exceptions, of course.
An even more interesting trend to me is the percentage of men (of all ages?) who report they have few or no friends. That is, men seem to have forgotten how to make friends or how to keep friends. I think it's important for people of both sexes to have friends and learn how to maintain friendships. But I confess I myself have fewer and fewer friends as the years go on. The pandemic just made it worse.
ReplyDeleteI think that is an important point. The isolation increases in big and little ways. This is a trivial example, but the last few times I went into MacDonalds, more people order from their cars. When you go in, you don't even have a person taking your order. You do it at a kiosk. When is the last time you talked to a gas station attendant? Not only dont' we have strong ties, we don't even have "weak ties" any more.
ReplyDeleteAnd how do younger people “talk” to the friends they have? Through texting.
ReplyDeleteHey, I put my name in place of anonymous—Carol
ReplyDelete