A proton walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a Coke. “Are you sure you want a Coke and not a beer?” the bartender asks. The proton replies, “I’m positive.”
A neutron walks into a bar and asks how much for a drink. The bartender replies, “For you, no charge.”
The optimist sees the glass as half full. The pessimist sees the glass as half empty. The engineer sees the glass as twice as large as it needs to be.
I recently read a book about anti-gravity and helium. I couldn’t put it down.
A man walks into a library and asks the librarian if there was a book on the shelf about Pavlov’s dogs and Schrodinger’s cat. The librarian replies, “The title rings a bell, but I’m not sure it’s there.”
An infectious disease walks into a bar. The bartender says,” We don’t serve your kind here.” The disease responds, “Well, you’re not a very good host.”
One more: What do you get if you divide the circumference of a jack-o-lantern by its diameter? Pumpkin pi.
I owe a debt to Richard Lederer, “Riddles and Jokes For the Scientifically Inclined,” Funny Times, (June 2022), p. 4.
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