Leaked letter to Congressman Issa

Wikileaks aren’t the only source of secret information.  Here’s the copy of a letter forwarded to me that I thought readers might find interesting:

Dear House Oversight and Government Reform Committee Chairman Darrell Issa,

Last month you wrote to about 150 companies and trade groups asking them to identify federal regulations that limit job growth and economic recovery.  You evidently plan to introduce legislation to eliminate such regulations.  As the owner of a large family-owned business employing hundreds of workers, here are a few suggestions on what to repeal:

OSHA.  Most of my workers are careful people, and I don’t see why we need to have a federal agency insisting on fire escapes and beepers on trucks backing up.  If a worker is injured on the job, there are many unemployed people out there who would be willing and happy to take his place.

Workman’s Comp.  This relates to the first one.  If a worker is injured on the job, why should he get worker’s comp?  Why can’t the family take care of him?

EPA regulations on water pollution.  Prior to the EPA and its burdensome regulations, my grandfather always dumped the leftover chemicals, dyes, and acids into the river next to the plant.  Do you know the expense of complying with pollution rules?  Why can’t we be like the Marcellus Shale drillers and not have to worry about water pollution?

EPA regulations on air pollution.  A little smog never hurt anyone, at least not very much.

Consumer safety regulations.  Our factory at one time made children’s pajamas.  Then the Commerce Department said pajamas had to be flame resistant.  Do you realize how much that added to the cost?  I really don’t think many kids play with matches.

Equal work for equal pay.  We’re supposed to pay men and women the same amount for the same job.  Why is that?  Everyone knows that women are working for “pin money.”  If I could pay women half of what I pay men, I could hire twice as many.

Overtime and minimum wage requirements.  I think you would agree both of these reduce productivity and retard economic growth. 

Taxes.  Are you aware of how much I could invest in my plant if I didn’t have to pay any corporate taxes or contribute to Social Security?  I know the government needs some revenue, but can’t it build more casinos and run more lotteries?

I’m sure that your committee can act to eliminate these rules.  Unfortunately, we have a Democratic Senate and President, so the changes I’m proposing might not become law.  In 2012, however, I think that will change and we will succeed in eliminating these burdensome and socialistic regulations.

Your friend and campaign contributor,

     Cornelius

I was unable to obtain a copy of Chairman Issa’s reply.