In a meeting with reporters in the Rose Garden today, President Trump apologized to the nation for being, in his words, “a complete asshat.” Trump said that he was responsible for “failures in judgement, in morality, and in common sense.” He said he had considered resigning from the presidency, but he was afraid that Pence might be even worse, and if Pence resigned, Ryan would be the next in line. “I’m afraid we are in for a rough four years,” Trump told reporters.
In a related development, Michael Flynn, who led chants of “Lock her up” at a Trump rally last summer, may be going to jail himself. Congressional investigators have rejected Flynn’s offer to cooperate in return for immunity. This means that if Flynn has committed crimes, he could do time.
The second paragraph is NOT an April Fool’s joke.
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