Today Donald Trump single-handedly saved 13 boys trapped in a cave in Thailand. He swam down to get them, pulling them out while breathing through a rubber garden hose. As he acknowledged the cheers of the crowd, he told them he was able to overcome the pain resulting from his bone spurs. In his words, “I blocked that out. I had to save those boys. It was great. Also, wasn’t that something the way I beat Hillary?”
He added, “Obama never could have done that.”
Seam Hannity has proposed that Trump be beatified. He has already contacted the Pope, who remains noncommittal.
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